LEGENDARY GAA Quotes ......

Commentators

Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh Quotes......

"And DJ Carey goes past his man once again with unquestionable ease. But he runs into a Dooley brother and wins his free. I know DJ's father well. A marvellous greyhound breeder and trainer. So good in fact, he convinced me to buy one off him only last week.
DJ places the small ball on the ground as he lines up his free. We ran the dog for the first time only last night. He was favourite to win and first out of the traps. We were convinced he'd win.
DJ lines this one up and goes to rise the ball. The greyhound was flying it at the last bend, DJ rises the ball. He's in backswing.
It was between trap 4 and trap 5 at the line at the track last night. DJ strikes and the ball goes wide and would you believe the dog lost too!"

Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. It's over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery. The ball is kicked out by Declan O'Keeffe it's dropping......"

"1-5 to 0-8. Well from Lapland to the Antartic that's level scores in any man's language"

"Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now....but here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail...I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park !"

"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide......and the dog lost as well."

"Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation."

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you down- his people are undertakers"

"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same colour as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the hogan stand side of the field ....."

"....and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell ye a little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a news stand and I said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman would ye?' To which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?' He had both....so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet...."

"Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't he done well"

"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they played with the ball".

"He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a point.......it went wide."

"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of 12....all but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home minding the house.....and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce...."

MORE Micheal O Muircheartaigh masterpieces:

 "In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they played with the ball."
"... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I'll tell ye a little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand
and I said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman (Paper) would ye?' To which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said
'do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... he had both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet..."

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you down - his people are undertakers."

"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of the field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, it's a goal. So much for religion."

Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar.. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery."

"1-5 to 0-8. Well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in any man's language."

"I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary, sponsored by a water company. Cork sponsored by a tae company. I wonder will they meet later for afternoon tae."

"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"

"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50...... he's on the 40....he's on the 30.......... he's on the ground"

"He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a point...... it went wide."

"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of 12....all but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home minding the house..... and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce...."

"Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold."


Matthew McMahon - Clare FM GAA commentator (during the All-Ireland 95)
"The cigarettes are being lit here in the commentary box, the lads are getting anxious, its a line ball down there to Clare and who's to take it?... Will ye put 'em out lads ye'll choke me."

Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team
'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag'

Pat Spillane reflects on an Ulster Championship clash.
The first half was even, the second half was even worse.

Player's
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny
'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the drink since Tuesday'

Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).
"When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" --

Anonymous Clare hurler
'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs'

Michael Smith, Tipperary
· The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing"

Armagh's Gene Morgan to 'injured' teammate Pat Campbell.
That's the first time I've seen anybody limping off with a sore finger!

Mick Holden (seriously late for training on a Saturday morning)
- I was coming across town and I was stopped by the guards. They said I was a match for one of the guys that pulled the big bank robbery yesterday.
- Kevin Heffernan: Really?
- Holden: No, but it sounds so much better than saying I slept it out.

Managers
Ger Loughnane on Tipp
· I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in"

Ollie Murphy
I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but its better now being a big, fat one

John O'Mahony
Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech".

Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990 (Cork went on to win the All Ireland...the shower of donkeys!!!)
'You can't win derbies with donkeys'

Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998
'Sheep in a heap'

Manager to a club player in Derry.
We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation.

Famous People
John B. Keane
A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else.

John B.Keane ventures into coaching
· Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them but they keep getting up.

Joe Lynch, actor.
I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"

Fans
Offaly fan in 1998
'Babs keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him'

Cork fan 1988
'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first'

Another Cork fan 1988
'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue'

Kerry fan
'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks'

Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane
'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates you'

Wexford Fan in 1996.
· We've won one All-Ireland in a row"

Tipp fan on the Galway legend.
· "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"

Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final:
- Fan: Hi ref, how's your dog?
- Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
- Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that doesn't have a guide dog!

Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.
He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long.

Frustrated Sligo fan's judgement of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final.
He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse.

Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final.
· The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does.

Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final (right funny man!!!)
'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine,but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players'

Satellite News Channel interview with Euro 2004 fans in Lisbon...
The reporter asked one man if he was disappointed that England had lost.
The man replied, "Not at all, I'm Irish, I'm from Waterford".
The reporter then asked, "But would you not support England when Ireland are not in the competition?"
The man replied "Jaysus no way".
Reporter: "Why not?"
Man: "800 years of oppression!!"
Reporter: "Is there ever any time you would support England?"
Man: "Maybe if they were playing Kilkenny!!!"